The Ballad Of Ol' Dirty

With this post I will have officially caught up with my posting. Whew!

The weekend has been quite busy, to be honest. After the Friday news I received (read below) I wanted to celebrate. Only one problem: the information was confidential so I couldn't tell anyone outside of family and friends.

With Friday's light volume I was able to get out of there relatively early. Of course, me and the co-worker met up at the local spot and enjoyed our weekly watering hole. It was great. We have come up with nicknames for all the regulars we see in there every week, and some are quite humorous. There's Bar girl, Bar dude, Pan-Am, Ol' Dirty, Detective Guy, Pinky, and a whole mess of others. You get the point.

The story is about Ol' Dirty. Ol Dirty is a woman of about mid-forties I'd say who acts and dresses as if she thinks she is still in her early twenties. Her hair looks like that of one of Van Halen's roadies...fried, she wears stone-washed jeans with high-heels and always has on something tight to show off her, well, age I guess.

Ol' Dirty has a thing for my work buddy. I must say, this has provided me with ample entertainment over the last couple weeks. Friday night I was driving from work to the spot and received a call from my friend. "Help Me, come quick man, you've got to come help me out dude!" I asked what was wrong. Ol' Dirty was at it again. She had been approaching him and chatting him up, to this point without much success. He had 'gotten a phone call' just as she was about to start talking.

Later that night, since the bar was full, we were forced to resort to a table. Ol' Dirty was at the Bar. She ended up sending over what we thought was her boyfriend. He told my friend to "go get her man, she wants you. I've partied with her before, she's great." Eeeeeewwwww!

My friend coolly ignored her request. Then she sent our waiter after him. "Hey man, that girl over there wants you to come talk to her." He said this with a shit-eating grin.

Again, coolly ignored.

Now Ol' Dirty is not one to give up. She comes over and sits at our table without invitation. I am trying at this point to hide the tears erupting from my eyes as I suppress my laughter. She is so drunk she can barely speak and keeps asking if my friend would take her downtown to a club. Again, he smoothly tells her 'that isn't his thing' repeatedly until he finally had to resort to the "I've got a girlfriend" technique. She replied "OH I'm not like that." Sure, of course you're not. Are you starting to get the nickname yet? Eventually she got the hint and moved on to the next table of unsuspecting victims. I have to say it was great to see, almost as good as something on Comedy Central.

Ok I'll wrap up. Saturday we planned on finishing up the apartment but didn't. We ended up drinking beer and watching the Vols get beat by ND. (vomit again) Saturday night we cooked a DiGiorno and work buddy came over to see the new house. Beer drinking continued. It was a pretty lazy day.

Sunday sucked. It just sucked, there's no other way to put it. We headed over to the apartment early thinking we could just go ahead and get the apartment over with. We got there around 10 or 11 and were still not finished after two trips back and forth, hours of cleaning, and back-aching climbs up and down those damned three flights of stairs leading up to the old pad. It was nearly eight o'clock at night before we made the last trip back. And, we still have to get about four boxes, a half coat closet of coats, and all of our framed pictures. Again, Sunday sucked.

Sunday night, beaten down, I resorted to Abita's Purple Haze beer and the Philadelphia/Washington NFL game. It was a pretty cool night in the new house. I was so tired I packed a cooler with three beers to eliminate the possibility of me having to get up to go to the fridge. A laughed at me, but totally was on the same level and thought it was a great idea.

So, this Monday morning I have woken up, made coffee, and have spent the entirety of it catching up with my posting. Good job me! I reckon I'll start getting ready to go into work now. I think the official announcement of my good news (read the previous posts dog-gone it!) is supposed to happen today, but I'm not sure.

It's been a great month. Ol' Dirty and all.